Yes, yes, against my better judgment, I’m aiming to publish a Twister-related post every Tuesday. This is against my better judgment because I’m not so good at the scheduled stuff. I like to think of myself as super spontaneous, choosing my next action based on my feelings and whims, letting my intuition carry me. In reality that just makes me a procrastinator, but I prefer the other interpretation, so committing to a weekly, scheduled, focused post is, well, a commitment. But I’m a big fan of talking about embarrassing things with you peeps, so I will try.

{Aside: this bolding of sentences thing has gotten a bit old for me, though I can see that it might improve readability. Except I keep bolding the first sentence of every paragraph, and then I realize my paragraphs are either too long or too short, and then I get all nervous when I should be spontaneous and swashbuckling in my blogging. First world problem, I know.}

I wasn’t so sure I wanted to embark on a Twister improvement plan. Unlike focusing on the bright side, dedicating myself to increasing our Twister practice seemed like something I would regret. The last thing I want to do is raise his expectations even further*. Really. Case in point: we played twice in twelve hours last weekend. Twelve hours after that, my husband looked disappointed that we weren’t in play. Twelve hours after that, he was alternating between super sweetness (hoping it would set the stage) and passive aggressive hinting. All this within 24 hours.

Shoot me.

But hey, that’s the challenge: improving our Twister situation without setting unbearably high expectations or (here’s the important part) getting lost in the whole point*. In the past, when I’ve embarked on a strict and frequent Twister practice schedule, it’s been all about doing it and less about enjoying it (pun intended). I’m all too impatient with my own body and needs and all too willing to just get it over with – which sucks*.

Yesterday I spent way too many hours reading Pioneer Woman’s love story then yearning for one of my own, until I remembered, “Hey, that guy in bed next to me is pretty freaking hot, in my completely biased opinion, and when I allow myself to lean on him, does a pretty bang* up job of taking care of me. Even when I suck*. Maybe this challenge – like all the others – is more about outlook and less about action, more about figuring out what’s not working and less about keeping score. Which could lead to more action.”

So, every Tuesday for a while, I’m going to blog about a specific Twister-related issue affecting us and try to write my way into a solution. For the duration, I’m going to be more open to playing, more insistent on stretching, and more willing to get past my own hang-ups. I’ll pay more attention to what does and doesn’t work and less to the to-do list in my head. Sort of like my own dirty happiness project.

Oh, yea, I will not be telling my husband about this. I want to focus on my own head* to improve my own experience, thereby improving his, and (again) I don’t want to raise* his expectations any further.

{Because I’m all about the euphemism here, it’s unlikely I’ll ever get any readers through search engines given the unlikelihood of someone Googling for “Twister” when they’re interested in relationship s.e.x. stuff. This is obviously by design. So, if you like this series, do me a favor and pass it along – Tweet, email, link, whatever. It’s hard* to find real and honest discussions about this outside of pregnancy-related blogs and that’s a shame. Plus, the more of us involved in this discussion, the greater the chances we’ll find solutions from each other!}

*No pun intended.