We went to Sears to get a doodad for my quilting project and decided to wander around the appliance department. Big mistake. Within minutes, my husband found the biggest, priciest, most tricked out refrigerator in the place and was in love. Deep, deep in love. He actually impressed me – kinda – with his ability to spot the most expensive appliance in the place, then try to convince me that we really need the semi-pro gas range with cast iron grill pan, or the convection microwave with removable tray and super exhaust fan, or the Jenn Air convection wall oven. Evidently we need $12,000 in appliances.
This from a man who cooks frozen pizzas and tacos. Exclusively.
Oh, lordy, shopping for appliances is going to be fun! (Ahem, not. My cheap-ass cringes at the thought of a full priced “semi-pro” anything. Marketing, blah.)
But we did end up talking about kids, something we do quite often lately. And that got me thinking about all the things I never would have guessed grown-ups could do, which is a roundabout way of saying I don’t think we’re really grown-ups yet.
Things I Didn’t Know Grown-Ups (Still) Did:
Dry off after a shower with a t-shirt because nobody remembered to put towels in the dryer.
Stick the trash can in a closet because they just don’t feel like taking it outside right now.
Leave piles of clothes on the floor in the bathroom long enough that the cats start to nest (it takes three days, by the way).
Find scraps of wood, dog bones, rawhide, and a random sock hidden carefully within the covers of their bed… then climb in and go to sleep anyway.
Wear two different socks because a) they’re clean, b) they’re available, and c) they’re wearing boots anyway. Same deal with swimsuit bottoms as underwear.
Forget when they last washed their hair.
Drop food on the floor and let the dog(s) lick it up; it’s easier to clean up that way.
Search high and low for their keys, then find them in the door/ on the porch/ in the shower.
Drink beverages exclusively for their caffeine or alcohol content. Exclusively.
Find a strange kind of satisfaction in sweeping up piles of animal fur so large, the cats hiss at them. (Note: this happens every two or three days.)
These are not things people with kids should do, especially kids who crawl on floors and lick tables and chew on random found objects. When our favorite neighbor baby comes over, we hang out outside. People, it’s safer and cleaner outside than inside!
I’m reminded of this post by Benjamin Wagner (although I suspect he prefers people to read his blog for the rock ‘n’ roll, I read it because of his divorced kid’s point of view on marriage):
Before I met Abbi (the first woman, it should be noted, with whom I’ve shared a roof), I did laundry only when I ran out of underwear. Before I met Abbi, I did the dishes only when I ran out of pint glasses. Before I met Abbi, I swept the floor only when I could see the crumbs.
It’s an interesting thing to be changing my behavior in an effort to be a better teammate. Given my druthers, I’d watch Nova or Frontline on DVR. Left to my own devices, I listening to NPR and blog.
But this marriage thing is my new reality, and calls upon me to step up my game. Accordingly, today I unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ran three loads of laundry and washed the windows (and watched Frontline, and blogged). I don’t relish this new, hyper-vigilance. But I relish being considered a good partner, even if I do mope about it in only half-jest.
Though I must admit, the carpet sure does look nice. And it’s a real treat to be able to get into bed without wiping my feet.
What do you still do that you never thought grown-ups did?
i thought even grown-ups with kids let their dogs clean up crumbs and other dropped food. i always thought that was why dogs liked babies, all the food dropping. do grown ups still watch kid's movies (or tv shows) even when kids aren't around? we do, mainly because nolan doesn't like most kid's movies. i'm with you on the fur sweeping. spring and fall are the worst. i sweep twice a day and it's still not enough. the fur just hides and comes out as soon as company comes over.
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I wrote a very similar post this week about being part of a marital "team". My partner makes me want to be a better partner, and we both find ourselves alternately stepping up our game, and frankly, sometimes we both slack off and leave the place a mess for awhile.
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Do we live in the same house? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that my bathroom looks quite a bit like your bathroom. Oh and I leave my keys in the door WAY too much. Guess I'm not a grown-up yet, either. And to that I say "thank GOD." I'm not ready to get there. I'm ready for marriage and a house and a career and all of the quintessential "grown-up things" but I'm not ready to call myself "grown up". To be honest with you, my mom is 59 and she still doesn't consider herself a grown-up.Oh! I just thought of something I still do that I didn't think grown ups still did. This is gross (and totally TMI), but I still get and pop pimples. Shouldn't that have been left back in high school??
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OMG– I wish you could see our place right now– it is disgusting right now. How do you deal when both partners are just impossibly busy and unable to clean and then someone calls and says they're stopping by– it's so embarrassing, but I don't want to be anti-social just cause of the state of the house.
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Ummm clearly my pup is a built in vacuum cleaner…what else did we get her for??
I'm kidding, but really, whenever I drop some food on the floor, I pretty much just expect her to be at my feet snatching it up…hey…it totally works!!!
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I am constantly updating my "Murtaugh List"–the list of things I'm too to do. But the mismatched socks? The needs-to-be-taken-out trash? Pretty much all the things on your list? Yeah, still do.
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Ironically enough, some of those things I think I do BECAUSE I'm a grown up.Because I'm old enough to make those choices, and old enough to fix the problem when it becomes a problem for me.When I was younger, I ranted and wailed about the slightest smudge in my "perfect" life. Every negativity was a DISASTER (in all caps) and my OCD kept me from being so relaxed about such things.Part of being a grown up to me is realizing what matters to you and what doesn't as much.When you have children you'll be more careful. You're capable and efficient and those qualities will show themselves in your child rearing at that point in time. But why not – before you get to all of the 'have tos' of adulthood – and you have plenty with the marriage, houses and jobs – continue enjoying these moments, count yourself as an adult that's growing more comfortable in her own skin, and take video of your cats hissing at the fur… because that's freaking funny.
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For the record, there are all kinds of studies coming out now encouraging "not-so-sparkling-with bleach" houses….because kids do not build as healthy of an immune system (along with having worse allergies).Also, I let Jeb lick my plate clean because our dishwasher sucks and never gets the them sparkling without the "pre-puppy rinse":)
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We still consider cake, brownies, ice cream, etc. to make an acceptable meal.Our place is so unclean I won't let anyone else come to visit. And I'm with you on the cat hair — we have 4 cats, so we call the big hair tumbleweeds "5th Cat." The baby hasn't discovered 5th Cat yet, but she will. And then you know it'll go right into her mouth.
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I do most of the things on your list. And yeah, we consider Coldstone to be acceptable replacement for supper. Same goes for popcorn with lots of butter.
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