Well, we’re officially full-term, my kiddo and I! Now perhaps I’ll sleep through the night instead of wondering whether the Hippie Birth Center would round up a day if I went into labor early. I’m going to have to ask just to assuage my curiosity.
My in-laws — who suddenly want to have dinner with us weekly instead of about once a month — are both convinced he’ll arrive early. My mom has been talking about another July birthday for a while (mine’s 7/20), too. I might be the only person thinking I’m doomed to a late arrival because of all the “Please, baby, we need more time!” thoughts I keep sending his way.
Body
Oy. In the space of a few days my hips and back and legs and, well, entire body all started to ache. Moving from sitting to standing hurts for a few moments, then walking hurts for a few steps, then sitting down again hurts for a little bit…. I’m trying not to be a whiny nine month pregnant woman – and failing. He’s definitely dropped, adding to the feeling that my ligaments have become an internal baby sling and he could fall off at any moment.
And goodness, I am tired. Today, for example, I woke up before 7 (yes, on a Sunday, yuck), let the dogs out, ate some cereal and lounged around in bed until my husband woke up, then lounged around in bed with him while we read the news, checked out blogs, etc. We got dressed in time to meet his parents for lunch at noon, then… *yawn.* I wanted a nap but my body ached so I came into the nursery to do yoga.
Four different podcasts worth of yoga later, I’m still debating that nap. The only thing keeping me from climbing into bed is embarrassment. My husband is mowing the lawn in this stifling heat and humidity and all I want to do is sleep some more.
Instead I think I’ll break in this nice glider and listen to some HypnoBabies. *yawn* That grocery shopping that’s been on my to-do list for, oh, three weeks now is looking less and less likely. Cleaning up the guest room and doing some laundry? Ditto.
At least while sleeping hypno’ing I don’t have to think about my multi-chinned face or the “oh!” looks I get from strangers when I venture into public. Yes, people, short women look craaaaazy when 37 weeks’ pregnant. I was up 30 pounds as of my last appointment. Must. Pay. Attention. To. Food. Again. (…lest I gain more than five pounds in the few weeks I have left, a real risk given my sudden propensity for sweets.)
Soul
I had two melt-downs last week, a new record, I think. My husband and I then kicked it into high-speed productivity mode and moved a bunch of furniture, bought a bed, installed a ceiling fan and recessed lighting, cleaned out the guest room, linen closets and desks, and (finally) shredded all that darned junk mail that tends to pile up. We bought a second car seat base, too, all in the past three days.
The nursery is (mostly) finished, the cloth diapers I rented have arrived, and if needed, we could clean the place up for visitors in a few hours. The fence isn’t finished (not his fault, he’s trying!) but we could make it work.
All of this to say my soul is more settled. I wonder if that’s why all of a sudden I’m feeling achy and impatient? I wasn’t so impatient or whiny about my hips aching when our hallway looked like a storage facility, was I?
Also helpful: HypnoBabies tracks. While HypnoBirthing was useful as a class, HypnoBabies has a more directed curriculum, which I appreciate. I’m double-timing the schedule but finding the tracks to be helpful even if I’m not practicing them for a full week at a time. (I’m still slightly skeptical about the effectiveness of the hypnotism since I can’t manage to not itch when I tell my body to disconnect, much less not feel pain, but the relaxation practice is very helpful nonetheless.)
So, to sum it up: soul on an upswing.
Baby
I think I may call him “the kiddo” forever. I can’t manage to use his name even though we’ve picked it, and true to form, am now second-guessing his middle name. Oy. One of the HypnoBabies tracks had me visualize him for just a moment, a jarring few minutes that certainly helped to humanize him, but as I’ve said before, I’ll have to meet him to know him. *shrug*
He’s very, very active. Super active. So active that for the single day this week he was a little quieter than normal, I was relieved until it occurred to me to pay attention just in case it was indicative of a problem. (Was not.) I also remembered reading on SpinningBabies.com that he should be head down with his spine along my left side for the most optimal position and (of course) then started to worry that he’s still doing head spins in there (head stays down, body twirls). So, no more SpinningBabies reading for me. I’m going back to, “My baby knows what he’s doing and so does my body, so everything will be just fine” affirmations.
Denial? Perhaps. In fact, the idea that pregnant women should shield themselves from negativity and scary stories doesn’t sit well with me, she of the “must know risks to mitigate them” style, but I also understand that worrying is less likely to contribute to a positive outcome than affirmations are (hokey though they may feel at first), so I’m going with the greatest potential for upside.
Yikes, full-term. This week will be the “Oh, shit, gotta get my work situation under control so I’ll feel comfortable being away for so long.” My boss got temporarily promoted so my expectation that he’d be able to fill in for me if needed is suddenly up in the air. Oh, well. That’s for tomorrow. Right now, dozing hypnosis calls.
