Hello, hello! (and Happy Monday)

Hey, y’all!  As I write, I’m sitting in my (mom’s) bathrobe, in my home office, in the sun overcast rainy weather listening to my cats fight sing kumbaya.

Life is good.

My best friend got married last Friday and it was fantabulous. Really, ’twas everything she’d envisioned (and more: like getting some quiet time before the shindig, nothing but minor family drama, and much dancing and singing).  To put it another way: I was stone-cold sober (thank you, stupid antibiotics that cause “severe abdominal cramping and vomiting” if mixed with booze) and I had a blast!  So I’m very happy for her!

Please recall I am neither a photographer nor a particularly good snapshot-taker. Also, I suck at post-processing because apparently I don’t see colors the same way as other people.  HOWEVER, I love this picture of her, laughing at me for some unknown reason.

I’m home this week, away next week, then home for good until our Anniversary Extravaganza (ie: cruise).  Much as I like to wallow (ahem, “waller” as they say in the South) in work, it is nice to be sitting in my bathrobe writing a blog post at 10:39 am.

We partied in the backyard with our neighbors last night — always fun. Their son (my favorite kid) is 19 months old and a total blast.  He has off-road abilities now so he tears through the yard checking things out (and finding every non-baby-proofed situation like it’s his job).

Speaking of our favorite kid…

My husband has baby-lust, or, to put it more accurately, kid-lust. Anyone else’s partner have undiagnosed kid lust?  Symptoms: he zeroes in on the cute kid in any scenario, remarks often on how cool or fun or awesome someone else’s child is, scans his mental rolodex to find a worthy soul for whom to buy some toy.

The only problem is that he can’t really handle serious kid-talk yet.  If I ask a genuine question (“How do you think we’ll know we’re ready for kids?”), he’ll make a joke, change the subject, or do a little dance (the only tried-and-true method of distracting me without pissing me off).  I’m trying to remember the lesson I learned during our engagement: inability to hold a conversation means we need more time.

How’s your Monday going?  Where are you in the “when to have a baby” saga? (Jilian, you don’t count! How are you feeling, by the way? Is that still a fair question to ask a pregnant woman?)  Oh, and since I recently found out my brother’s girlfriend reads this blog (*nerves*) I feel like I should do him a favor and tell her that all of us aren’t nearly as crazy or, ahem, TMI-ish as I am.  Welcome!

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27 thoughts on “Hello, hello! (and Happy Monday)

  1. we’re very far away from babies (5 years?)…just kinda edging near the point where we’re acknowledging that statements like “if I have a children,” mean “if we have a children”– somehow this makes it more real to me and feels like a step. I realize this is a little unusual (we’ve been married 1.5year) since most people have clear babies plans when they get married, but we’ve been together since we were very young and we just take the let’s grow up together approach– which has worked so far. So we’re in wait and see mode. For, me a strong marriage is one of the best things I can give my potential children– every month I feel like our lives become more intertwined (and we’ve been together for a total of 8 years), so I’m in no hurry to interrupt that progress with a huge new challenge right now.

    • Agreed. Wholeheartedly. Some things are still too hard for us — though much easier than one year ago — so we’re not ready. Normal, everyday life needs to be easier before we throw a nuclear bomb into it.

  2. So glad I finally found you. You disappeared on me and then I found you on Jenna Cole! Yeah!

    Anyways, not engaged but have been together for 3 years. He has a 12 year old from his high school romance. Long story short, he wants to do it the “right way.” However, recently he’s mentioned starting to try in the fall! So all in good time I keep telling myself!

    • You sound ready! (Meaning: excited) I still sound a little creeped out, so that’s my “line”: when I can sound excited (and not embarrassed), I’m good.

    • Heh, heh. Exactly. Except he doesn’t really know it’s his ovaries. He just thinks he’s suddenly surrounded by kids (not that he only started noticing it).

  3. We’re in that place where emotionally we *feel* ready for a child but financially we’re way far off. I know everyone thinks they’re too broke to support a child, but we know it would make life harder forever if we were to just go ahead and get knocked up without trying to delay for a little while at least.
    We’re past the giggling and tip-toeing around the subject at this point. We have talked names and schools and whether or not we will allow a baptism. We also talk about getting out of credit card debt and having a lot more savings so that we can continue to live comfortably during my maternity leave.
    Neither of us has very lofty goals as far as the money thing goes, we just want to remain secure. With all the stress a baby adds to a marriage, this is one area we’d like to have under control before we decide to take that step. We’re not people who think we need to own our home or have an expensive stroller to support a baby. We do know though that it would probably be better if the husband had a job where he made more than 1/3 what I do…
    Sure we would rather wait a couple years (even if my body would like a baby now, please) and we think we’d be okay now if we had a surprise thrown our way, but maybe not. And that’s why we wait and hope that things keep going according to plan.

    • I hear you. Completely. And I think that being practical is good (this from Ms. Practical herself). We’re in the same boat, actually. Right now I make significantly more than my husband, and we’d like to be closer to the place where our incomes are similar so we can share the load, so to speak.

      Although I do joke (ahem, half-joke) that I’m happy to help him get through school so that I can then quit my job.

  4. Mar, she’s fully aware that we’re all a little kooky, I don’t think she’d have it any other way. If anything, you two are kindred spirits with the TMI (I honestly believe you would get along a little too well).

    P.S. I think you need to take one for the team pretty soon here and have a baby. Mom’s starting to get a little antsy and was bringing up marriage in relation to our sis and her bf as well as me and my gf. Help us out a little and curb her appetite? :p

    Oh. And you need to visit. This isn’t an option. Love you!

    • Ha! Because appeasing one’s parents is the best reason to have a kid, right?

      Honestly? The big thing I want before we spawn is a habitable basement guest suite. Seriously. Because we want to produce the spawn in the early summer since both my mom and his will be out of school and can therefore help us maintain our sanity — and for that, our mother needs her own space. So, MUST. FINISH. BASEMENT.

      Seriously, that’s even more important to me than selling the other house (though #2 behind the fence).

      • I can completely understand. We both know she’d be perfectly willing to spend her long summers in TN so long as #1. the area she lived in will be clean to her standards and #2. she has a car to drive around in. Oh, the fact that a baby is around is an implied pre-requisite.

        You wouldn’t only be appeasing her for yourself, you will be in the service of both of your loving younger siblings. A baby from you will tide her marriage implications for me and my young gf for at least another half-decade or so.

        Love you.

      • I’m pretty sure his main source of frustration is that he can’t discipline kids that aren’t his own. Lack of parental discipline and the sense of entitlement that kids these days have and all that. He’s only 33 but he is SUCH a crotchety old man!

      • Dude – If the kids are at my house I totally have discipline powers 🙂

        My hubby and I often come home from hanging out with friends and discuss how they raise/discipline their kids – what we would do the same and what we would do differently.

      • Ah, got it. I’m the crotchety old man in our relationship. And I’m with Jilian on having discipline powers in my house (and my friends are cool with that).

  5. Hi Marisa~ Found you through your guest post over at Jenna’s today. Your writing is refreshingly honest… it’s nice to “meet” you! Looking forward to reading along here.

  6. haha. We are 100 days (give or take) away from this and Todd still likes to make ‘goofy joke like responses’ to serious kid questions. Current projects are finding a boy name we like (girl is covered), selecting a doula, and starting to figure out what we’ll need for this little one 🙂

    Oh yeah – and figuring out what the heck my job situation will look like – which is a guaranteed way to COMPLETELY freak him out 🙂

    Our anniversary is Wed and we haven’t even talked about what we might do to celebrate. We’re so lazy about stuff like that.

    Finally – this Monday is KICKING MY ASS. I did make it to spin at 5:45AM (had to after all I ate in Nashville this weekend) – but have been in a zombie like state ever since and there are so many things that need to get done.

    • Heh, heh. We’re lazy about anniversaries too.

      I’m so excited for your bambino, can’t imagine how you are!

      Hey, if you’re up for it, I’d love a guest post on what you CAN say to a pregnant woman. (The options seem limited, judging from the blog posts I’m reading.)

    • Why October? That seems a popular TTC month, which is why I’m asking. In our case, we’re thinking of October 2011 because our mothers are in the school systems — and therefore have summers off! Yay!!

  7. I found you again! I was wondering what happened to your blog…so glad you posted on That Wife 🙂

    When we got married we always said the babies would wait until at least our 2nd anniversary (which will be this coming September). There have been times that I thought we should try sooner, but of course I would chicken out once my husband said he would be open to it. We have been saving all of my income for the past year so that I can be a SAHM for a few years, but we still need to sell our condo and buy a house. I keep telling myself that even if we get pregnant right away that it takes 9 months for the baby to bake…so we still have time…it is exciting and scary at the same time…can’t wait!

  8. This question is a little difficult to answer, but I want to nonetheless! Like the first commenter, my husband and I have been together since we were young (going on 8 years together, 3 years married). Back in the day he said he wanted a huge family. Then we got married and he said he didn’t want any. He thinks most kids are disrespectful and stupid (as a result of their parents), and I think part of it is also being scared of having a child w/ D.S. (his bro has profound D.S.).
    He says he doesn’t want to start thinking about it until we get a house, which looks to be in our future anywhere from 1-2 years.
    I was pretty baby crazy .. I love kids and plan on working with them once I am done with grad school.. but I’ve had to tone it down so I don’t badger him and scare him away, heh.

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