On blogging (and other sundries)

Once you have an audience, you start trying to target your content to what you think your audience wants to read.

Are they sick of reading about my baby-ambivalence?

Do they miss the down-and-dirty marital fight stories?

Should I try to focus more and think out loud less?

I blog because I like the connectedness between you all and I.  I blog because the essay format helps to guide my thoughts and focus my analysis. I blog because I find clarity in the written word that I lack in the verbal.  I blog because otherwise I’d drive my husband and best friend nuts.

~~~

I have babies on the brain.  I don’t want them, yet, but am approaching that point.  Realtors say that when a prospective buyer starts to nitpick, they’re hooked: they’ve begun to imagine themselves in the house.

That’s me with the whole kid thing.  My obsession and worry is because, for the first time EVER, I am picturing myself with my own children.  I was never one of those kids who pictured herself as a mommy.  I hated having to give a baby back — love me some cuddly infants — but the feeling was more selfishness than anything else.

Here I am, thirty years old, considering my mommy-ness for the first time.  Much obsession will ensue.  That’s how I make peace with change — I obsess my way through it.

~~~

I blog because I am learning to know myself better.  Blogging my way through engagement gave me the freedom to be brutally honest about myself and my relationship.  Rereading those archives reminds me of a lesson I thought I’d learned: I can only be the best me.

And so, this blog is likely to have a lot of baby-ness and ambivalence for a while — maybe even until we decide to spawn and beyond.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that you all, my dear reader-friends, found me and stayed because something about my train-wreck of a brain was interesting (and maybe reminded you of yourself).  So I will stop trying to focus and continue to blog about whatever is sitting on my chest, and we’ll see if you stick around.

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7 thoughts on “On blogging (and other sundries)

  1. Yea! Comments. I’m with you. Just write about what you want to write about. Perhaps I say this because we’re pretty much following a similar life timeline. 🙂

  2. People choose to read blogs in which they find a bit of themselves. Reading your ramblings often helps me dissect my own, so thanks 🙂

    I also was married in May ’09 so I’ve been following you since Weddingbee, and it’s a little surreal how much our life-timelines coincide. I’ve suddenly, randomly become baby-obsessed in the past year or so, and I find myself having the same inner-debates about the situation.

    I just wanted to let you know there are people who appreciate your perspective on things, and that’s why we read your blog. Even thoughts you think are random probably have meaning to someone out there.

  3. Oh right. I remembered! Just keep blogging about what ever you feel like writing. That’s why we all starting following you in the first place. You have such a great voice you could probably write about anything and people would still follow. Except for maybe technical computer things that I don’t understand. You might lose me there. 🙂

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