The only thing constant is change

We’re thinking about moving.


I’ve always thought of myself as someone who thrives on change – I’ve always liked to move, yearned to live in new cities, changed jobs every couple of years.  That said, a quick look through my archives says I’m not very good at changing.  I may thrive, but much angst ensues.

I’m in the beginnings of that angst.

I love this house.  I thought I’d raise my children in this house.  I figured we’d nimbly side-stepped the rat race by finding a (cheap, huge, quirky, magical) house in (inexpensive, up-and-coming, semi-urban) Knoxville without considering a single other house.  I didn’t have to choose a house since this one was such a slam dunk.

Creepy?  Sure.  Needing work?  Definitely.  Intimidating?  Sometimes.

But we’d never outgrow it, never wish we had just one more room or a little bit more storage space.  And the grounds (ha, grounds! as if they are manicured and well-kept) are magical.  Magical!  We might not be using (or maintaining) this house to it’s full potential, but the potential is there.  And our neighborhood is fantastic.

And yet, living life can’t help but bring change.


The genesis of this situation is funny (aren’t they all?).  We were talking about Joey’s childhood on the lake, which led to dreaming of weekend houses on the lake, which led to research on building houses on lakes, which led to “Why wouldn’t we just live in this dream house full-time?”  Yea, I came around to his side.  I always do. So we looked at lake houses and quickly determined they are a) ugly and b) stupidly expensive.  I could take either/ or, but not both.  I can’t imagine forking over half a million dollars (at the least!) for a house that signifies everything I hate about houses.

My life as a single person might have been a semi-straight line from here to there; in marriage, we wander and climb and take great big leaps from one dream to the next.  It’s scary and wonderful all at once.

Mostly scary.


19 thoughts on “The only thing constant is change

  1. We’re in the process of moving and its bittersweet, I love the possibilities ahead but I don’t really feel like stepping out of my comfort zone to get there. Especially because selling a house is hard work and buyers ask for your things and then once you get through all that you have to turn around and find a new house one where you can raise your kids, and picture staying with your husband until you’re old and gray and yet at any time jobs could change and you’d have to move and start the whole process all over and its hard and scary and right now I’m comfortable where I am.

    Or at least that’s my perspective. =)

    • @Sunny, Exactly. Add to that the whole “tell me if I’m good enough for a mortgage” mess and the “should we be spending this much on a house and do we have other choices” extravaganza and – yuck.

      Moving was more fun when I rented.

      • @Marisa, Exactly We had ‘chose’ two houses and now that we’re finally at the point where we ‘should’ be looking its hard not to look and say well what about this, what about that, whats the resale value going to be on XYZ, ugh.

        I stood in the vegetable aisle and debated over a quarter last night and now you want me to look at houses that cost hundred of thousands of dollars and decide whats best, it makes me anxious just thinking about it.

  2. My grandparents are living on a lake, and doing their best to get out of there — unfortunately, selling their house has been all tied up in everything because the buyer wants Flood Insurance. It’s a slow market in Oklahoma, and they’re really really hoping that this sale goes through…

    Just from the other side of the buying a house on a lake perspective.

    • @Kate Ditzler, Yea. My husband’s parents laid it on us when we asked what it was like to live on the lake. He was a child so he only remembers the rainbows and butterflies, not the floods and such. I hear you.

      I keep asking what kind of fence you use to keep your kids from drowning.

  3. I wanted to avoid the property ladder too, but I see our lives going the same way! Even though I love our downtown condo lifestyle right now, I have these itches to move up island to the sleepy beach towns where we could have multiple dogs, a hot tub, and “ground” of our own too:-)

  4. Somehow I feel that scary and wonderful often coexist in the same sentance… more often than not.

    We’re hoping that this city is our final resting place as well, and are secretly terrified that we’ll want to up and move on out after our five years…

  5. I want to have a small place on the ocean. I’ve always wanted that but if it was in Washington, I wouldn’t do it full time. So here’s my comment on building anything (and it’s not meant to be a burst your bubble kind of thing), take a hard look at what you have to have in something you will build and something you really want but could do without. There weere so many things we wanted for our house when we built that were not possible because of money, zoning or just property size. I love my house and will probably never move, but it isn’t exactly how we had invisioned it. It was A LOT of work and tears and to some wouldn’t be worth it. 🙂

    • @Catherine, See, I DO know that, hence my unwillingness to ever ever EVER want to build a house – EVER. I’m not the kind of person who makes decisions lightly, or well, or at all. TOO MUCH DETAIL.

      And yet, here we are, considering it. I’ll kick myself later, I’m sure.

      • @Marisa, There are too many decisions when building a house. I felt like my head was going to explode everyday. I know you’ll make the right decision and if it turns out to be the wrong decision, they you’ll live, learn and turn it into the right one. I know building in Seattle is different than building in Knoxville but if you have any questions about the process, you know where to find me.

  6. We’re moving soon too. And it’s scary. Not because of where we’re moving – we’re essentially moving back to my hometown (uh, sort of. Moving to Seattle which is close enough to where I grew up). But yeah. I’m so happy to be going back home. I’m so sad to be leaving my friends here. I’m so happy that B will be going to school and increasing his employability for getting a kick ass job in a year. I’m terrified that we’re moving and I don’t have a job so we’re living on savings (and student loan money) for however long it takes me to find a job. But ultimately, whenever I think about the future and I see us up in Seattle, it makes me smile. Even though I know it’ll be a bumpy process getting there. Just wish I knew more how it was all going to turn out… but it’s the journey, right?

      • @Marisa, I’m currently an attorney, but due to a multitude of factors I won’t be able to practice immediately in Seattle. Which is ok because I’m not sure this is what I want to keep doing. So, in addition to looking for legal jobs, I’m also feeling out other options, including looking into software companies (I have experience with marketing, sales, that side of things before going to law school). Basically, I have a lot of ideas and some potential contacts, but have not created my search plan yet, as we won’t be moving up there until Sept. I’m always open to ideas if you have any though!

  7. I hate change too… don’t know what to say except that at least your options are good? You’re choosing between good (staying a house you love) and good (moving to a house you’ll also love)… but change is always scary, at least in my mind

  8. “the only thing for certain, is that nothing stays the same…” – david wilcox, common as the rain
    great song.

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