… we just keep going…

I had a vicious bout with vertigo after my last post — puking, dehydration, hospital, dizziness, walking like a drunk, a sudden whole week out of work, etc, etc — which might have led some folks to believe I was considering not blogging.  Totally not true. I like blogging, even unfocused stream-of-consciousness what-I-thought-today-about-whatever blogging.  I’ll keep doing it, no worries.

I won’t apologize for not blogging regularly, though, because this isn’t a paid gig.  In fact, it drives me slightly nuts to read “so sorry I haven’t been around hope you forgive me” posts by other bloggers.  Most of us do not make a single cent off blogging and even if we did, apologies just aren’t very graceful.  I’m sorry, but they’re not. (har, har)

Back to my point.

I signed up for my very first e-course with Sara Cotner of $2000 wedding fame.  She’s a super planner/ researcher and never apologizes for it.  It’s her thing. I like that in a person.  And since I’m the opposite of someone who enjoys planning (though I am comforted by it), I decided to fork over the money and join her Purposeful Conception e-course.

So far, I dig it.  I like following someone else’s curriculum, nerdy teacher’s pet that I am, and I get to avoid the drama of figuring out what I should be doing and just do it.  At work, I’m the one who directs the direction; at home, I just want to do what needs to be done.

Now to my point: life is good.  Joey commented the other day on how much in agreement he was when I said that our life seems to be going in a really good direction.  Not quickly and tumultuously, as I tend to prefer, but with stability and steadiness.  I’ve never really lived in steadiness though it’s always been my desire.

And so, true to form, I keep subconsciously looking for ways to upset the stability.

Let’s have kids!

Let’s move to the lake… now!

Let’s buy a car!

Let’s… something! new! and! different!

Okay, not so subconsciously.  I remarked to my husband that although we ‘d be fine if we got pregnant now, part of me believes this is our chance to do things the right way.  The right way isn’t the right way because of religion or morality or someone else’s declaration of what the right way is; the right way is the right way because it follows a logical progression.

Meet -> dating -> exclusivity -> engagement -> marriage -> living together -> buying a house -> settling into house -> having a baby…

The best advice I’ve received about how to move up in the world of corporateness is to keep one foot planted in something you know while placing the other into something new.  Put another way: don’t jump in with both feet or you won’t have any frame of reference to rely on.  Or: make sure one foot is moving.

Such a great analogy.

In my personal life, though, I keep leaping in with both feet (hell, headfirst in many cases) and then lamenting the drama that ensues when I hit the ground in a tumbled mess of pain and confusion.  (Evidence: engagement + our first year of marriage while working on two houses, preparing to host a home-wedding, and getting to know each other.  Oh, and the puppy.  And living with a roommate.)

Our right way, then, has us about a year away from being truly ready to enjoy our move into parenting.  We’re in the pre-engagement phase of conception, you might say, getting ourselves settled before embarking on the transition process to something new.

{See, I did learn something through that whole engagement extravaganza!}

~~~

For posterity’s sake, life is good because of:

Big things –

  1. We have eliminated most of our debt barring the house(s) and cars.
  2. We have cars we like and will keep for a while, plus we have all the car-needs covered (one with good gas mileage, one that can tow/ haul things).
  3. We have enough money to handle one of us (not me, though) losing one’s job.
  4. We have plans for the future which are making #3 seem like an opportunity rather than a catastrophe.
  5. I have a cool job where I’m almost completely in control of what I do – and I get to do it from my front porch or home office, depending on what suits me.

Made possible by small things –

  1. We eat most dinners at home, leaving us with more cash in hand and better nutrition.
  2. Our bill-paying is automated through three (okay, maybe four) accounts: one for the fixed costs, one for the variable costs, and two savings accounts.  Plus one more savings account and one more checking account.  Note to self: simplify banking situation.  Regardless, eliminating the decision-making from the financial process has been fabulous.  Before, when I paid a bill, I felt the money leave my hands.  Now, I just live my life, check my accounts every so often, and have confidence everything’s under control.
  3. We only sort of combined our money.  When we first got married, I thought we’d need to jump right into this, but easing in has been more our style.
  4. I periodically update a long-term budget which helps me remember that we live in abundance, not scarcity.  “We have enough money,” I tell myself often, “and we choose where we spend it depending on our goals.”

~~~

Whew, long post.  Oh, well.  I give myself permission to be wordy.

Advertisements

One thought on “… we just keep going…

  1. I hate those apology posts too! I’m glad you’re giving yourself permission to just write. I think that’s when I enjoy people’s posts most often.
    I hope you write more about your experiences with the Purposeful Conception course. I’ve seen it online (I love her blog) but I feel like we’re too far away from a baby to justify taking it myself even though I would have loved to sign up for this round. I think it would scare my husband. He’s on board, but not that on board…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s