Two things

1. I am thinking about starting a (closed) online community of women who want to talk about topics like sex (and, well, okay, all I can think about at this point that I couldn’t carefully dance around in a public way is sex) in a marriage-supportive environment.  Wow, that sounded… like marketing-speak.  Seriously, keeping things interesting and working for both members of a marriage is tough and I want to talk about it, but (crazy, I know) not in public.  Would you be interested?  Invite only and we’d extend invites to friends-of-friends without asking.  If we end up with a troll (would we?  Nah) we’d shut the whole shebang down.

2. I think I’m failing at work.  I’ve been there 8 months, know what needs to be done (have known it since I started), am not making the progress I expect.  Spent a whiny and tearful few minutes chatting with my husband, took a hot bath, watched mindless TV.  Now I need to decide what to do: big team, lots of people involved, tons of work, not enough people, frustrating bosses, etc, etc.  Is this interesting to you?  If it is, I’ll think in public here.  If it’s not, I’ll keep my whininess in my head.

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33 thoughts on “Two things

  1. I don’t comment too often, but I wanted to say that I’m very interested in both. As the only married woman in my group of friends the first would be a welcome environment and as a career minded woman I’m quite interested in hearing about your work issues.

  2. I’m totally down for private and semi-anon sex talk. I have a good number of close girlfriends, but I’m the only married one in the group and of my married friends…I just can’t talk about it with them because we’re not “close” like that. So yeah, count me if you decide to move forward with it.

    As for the work talk, I think with things like that it always helps to write about it instead of keeping it in. Even if you write a post but never hit “publish” at least you got it out of your head for a bit.

  3. Would be interested in #1 for sure. And I’m with everyone else on #2. Be careful with what you say but I say it’s your blog and you should write about what you want–especially since it helps you work through things.

  4. Definitely interested in married group discussion. Fo’ sho’. Your honesty and straight-talk is always so refreshing, and you would be the perfect ring-leader. Do it!

    As for your work life, I am sorry you’re feeling a disconnect with the track you’re on and the goals you’ve set. If it helps you work through the feelings, by all means… share, sister!

  5. I would be very interested in joining the group! I think an honest discussion about married “Twister” would be great!

    And trashy TV is always a great way to de-stress from work or life. Good choice of coping.

  6. First off, I hardly ever actually make a physical comment (only in my head :D) but this seems like something worth while to comment on.

    1. I would really like to be able to talk about sex and such with people who won’t judge me. It would be nice to be open with others.

    2. It’s always nice to hear someone else’s woes so I know that I’m not alone in my work suckiness.

  7. definitely interested in #1. i have a few friends who i could maybe discuss sex with but i’d feel much more comfortable on the internet. 🙂

    also, yes to #2. i have work woes and i like hearing how others deal with theirs.

  8. Ditto to both as well.
    Like so many others here I’m also the only married girl in my group of friends. I also just can’t talk about sex between my husband and I in any sort of real way with any of the women I know. Neither the friends of 20 years nor the close girls I hang out with all the time. They all know my husband, and I just don’t think it’s fair to him. It would just make me plain uncomfortable anyway – I used to have no problems talking about sex with my girl friends (except when I had girlfriends, most just didn’t get it) but now that I’m married it’s completely different.
    A forum for that would be great.

    And on work – go ahead and get it out. I don’t consider anything you write to be whiney really. And I totally respect your perspective. I’m so not the management type but who knows, right? And I think that general anxieties about success and work are so universal that I usually always gain a little insight from your posts like that.

  9. Interested in both!!! I don’t really have a lot of married girlfriends that I can discuss such issues with. The only married girls I really see a lot are co workers and we are NOT talking about that!

  10. i would definitely be interested in a place where we could talk about married ‘twister’. i can talk about it some with my friends, but there are just somethings that are easier with a bit of anonymity. count me in.
    i’m sorry to hear about your work struggles . . . i hope things settle out for you!

  11. I would be very interested in a closed community like that. In some ways, it is probably easier for all of us to talk about it in an online community where you don’t see everyone face to face every day.

  12. I would totally be interested in the group – my husband’s a teacher and I can’t blog about ANYTHING even remotely personal involving him because he’s afraid he would lose his job! It drives me crazy!

  13. Wow honey—lots of people here saying do it:) I, of course, will talk to anyone about sex! Perhaps that is one of the reasons I overwhelm people:)…and there must be a lot of serendipity going around because I just wrote a very telling post (not published yet) about being a female with High T!

    I am sorry about work:( BOOOO. I could tell things were getting hard, especially given your personality and the slow and convoluted wheel that is your business…and being dizzy doesn’t help I am sure.

  14. De-lurking (actually, I think I’ve commented *maybe* once — but I’ve been reading faithfully ever since WB days!) to say:
    1. yes, absolutely…and I might even commit to commenting/chatting regularly!
    2. please don’t ever stop processing work stuff — I find myself nodding and “mmmhmmm”ing at the computer when you talk about feelings/strategies/plans, since I’m working from home on an immense project (eh, dissertation). My caveat: be as careful as you need to be! But know that I — and clearly, all of us — love hearing it.

  15. Please please please yes to both! It makes me feel so much more sane to read that you’re dealing with some of the same things i am. So- yes to both!

  16. I am totally in. And let me know if I can help- I am searching for a project to sink my teeth into (and I seriously have a ton of time). As for topics that I don’t like to talk about in public- I’d love to expand the arena to jobs, family planning, money talk, etc. All topics I sometimes avoid on the public internet. (Totally paranoid that someone important will read what I write).

  17. Yes & Yes! Definitely. Perhaps work woes can be added to the topics on the private discussion? I, for one, would love to discuss my middle/upper management work woes, but am very hesitant to post in an open online forum. It seems like a lot of us are in the same place- learning to be good bosses without being bitches, learning to be a good female boss, learning to put our stamp on things and make our marks… it would be great to have a place to discuss.

  18. Hi there! I’ve been lurking for ages and never comment (bad me!), but I love your idea about a private forum. So many times your writting says what I think in my head. I would love to continue and be apart of some discussion about these issues. Anyway count me in if you do it! I also live in a “newly” married void and have no one in my inner circle that I can discuss this stuff with.

  19. Very interested in the forum. I agree with a PP in that I don’t think it’s fair to my husband to discuss “twister” with women we know, but it would be nice to have a way to do so while still maintaining his privacy. As for your work woes, I wouldn’t mind a bit, and even find your work posts interesting at times, although I can in no way relate to your type of work. That say something, right?

  20. i think the married/sex life discussion is definitely a great idea.
    i’m not married though, but in a long term relationship… i’d still be interested though!

  21. YES please! I never comment either, but I would love to have an anonymous supportive place to vent about how DH never wants to play twister anymore!

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