A crazy Tuesday

My husband woke me up this morning. “Help, help, I need your help!”  Our pupper was having, um, explosiveness out of both ends.  Poor guy (the pup… and the husband, too).

I stumble into the living room, check on the poor dog, then start cleaning up the grossest stuff while my husband stands behind me, alternatively holding his breath and gagging.

“Please go away.  I’ll just clean this.” So I do.

Then I find the dog, coax him into laying down, end up sitting awkwardly on the couch so I can still touch him.  Poor little dude.  It’s not his fault he’s retching, and because of my recent experience with intractable vomiting, I feel extra badly for him.

My husband, meanwhile, throws out the trash, does a final wipe of the floor, and plays video games.

{insert wry grin here}

I’m finally at that place I always hoped I’d be, where I recognized the value of a team of people doing the _____, including loving.  I’m an empathizer.  My husband gets sh*t done (unless it involves icky sh*t, something we’ve both figured out he can’t stomach, so I do it).  I used to rage at his apparent lack of empathy or sensitivity.  “You care more about the floors than the things that are alive!” I’d look for the poor animal, he’d look for the floor cleaner.

But hey, both need to be done, so I clean the ickiest and find the suffering animal; he cleans up the most and makes sure everything is thrown out.  I don’t have to elbow anyone out of the way as I snuggle with the suffering creature.  Life is good.

And suddenly I’m able to separate the things I can be frustrated about on my own behalf from those things that might affect my childhood self, because really, any time we say, “I’m thinking about the children” what we mean is, “I’m trying to prevent/ repeat this thing that happened to me as a child.”

I can be frustrated that when I’m the suffering creature, my husband might worry about the floors, but I have no such worry for our offspring.  As we speak, I’m working from the floor of the front porch so I can be near my now-quietly-resting puppy.

And the trash has been thrown out.


2 thoughts on “A crazy Tuesday

  1. What a morning! I guess that’s one good thing about working from home at flexible hours – being able to clean up dog mess without it being on a deadline!
    How awesome that you are able now to see how you can work together separately and get the job done. I have had to work to do the same in many situations and I think we’re all the better for it. Focusing on appreciating what he is doing rather than what/how I want him to do it is really difficult sometimes. I have to remind myself though that him doing something is better than nothing, and while it might not be my way (which is the right way, you know) it’s getting done. We’re still figuring out who does what best and what our first response reactions are at times like this and I find myself paying closer attention to what is immediate focus is so that I can take care of whatever else needs to be done smoothly. Annoyance still happens, but far less often now.

  2. E and I are the opposite when it comes to animals. (well, his dog in particular) When she gets sick (which happens fairly often) he is the caretaker and I’m the one stuffing peed on blankets in washing machine.
    We are the opposite when it comes to people–i am much more empathetic when he is sick than he is when I’m sick. He says its because I can communicate what’s wrong and get medicine myself (where a dog can’t)
    I have no idea how this will play out when we have kids though!

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