Weird things about telling people you're pregnant

1. Your parents will thank you — and, more awkwardly, will thank your spouse — when you tell them. Which, in a roundabout way, is them thanking you for basically having sex.  This is awkward.

2. People tend to scream, “Eeeeeh!” and you’ll just stand there, awkwardly. (Sensing a theme?) It’s not that you’re not as or more excited than they are, just that you got your “eeeeeeh’s” out of the way weeks ago.  Before the feeling-yucky. Also, you have to deal with the scariness of life-changing-ness.  They just get to buy your offspring cute clothes.

3. People’s eyes will immediately go to your midsection and you’ll want to suck it in or explain that what they might think is a baby bump is, in fact, three straight days of overeating Mexican food like a Labrador puppy.

4. Non-pregnant people will seem stunned that you can’t find out the gender of your kid until ~20 weeks. Halfway.  And they’ll say things like, “Oh, that’s just around the corner.”  You, fresh off a few weeks of nausea and indigestion, will think, “OHMYGOD I have to do this two more months just to hit halfway?”

5. Much like telling people you’re engaged, their first question is usually, “When?” This, thankfully, is easier to answer when knocked up than when engaged, unless you’re me and feel the need to bless them with a TMI explanation like, “Well, the calculation from the first day of my last period says August 1, but the ultrasound — and my own charting and history of 30-day plus cycles — say it’s more like August 4th or 5th, and since I don’t want you to start calling me on August 1st to ask if I’ve spawned the monster, I’ll just say I’m due in August.  And did you know the first two weeks after your last menstrual period count as pregnant even though, without ovulation, you weren’t really pregnant?  It’s craaaaazzzzay!”

Have any to add?  And are we the only ones who a) think being thanked for procreating is akin to being thanked for doing the dirty and b) think this is awkward?

Yay, glad to be back!  Soon we’ll brainstorm things you are and are not allowed to say to a pregnant woman and/ or her husband, something near and dear to my pre-pregnant heart (everyone gripes about the dumb things people say, but they don’t tell you what you can say)… and eventually, once I put my big girl panties on and grow a pair (ahem, mixing metaphors), I want to talk about good and not-so-good reasons to decide where to give birth.

In other blog news, I’ll keep the Pregnant-Me posts on the http://www.parentheticalme.com/three site (though I may rename it to “Pregnant Me”) but I’m likely to be talking a lot about pre-/ impending-/ post-parenthood stages here.  And, you know, the usual topics: freaking out, being cheap, freaking out about being cheap, trying to be a grown-up with a grown-up job, etc, etc.

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11 thoughts on “Weird things about telling people you're pregnant

  1. Both of my parents are deceased and the in-laws aren’t exactly the thanking kind for this sort of thing (and if they did, it would be in a note) so we didn’t have to deal with that. But I do think it’s awkward. I totally relate to #5. One of my crazy things during preganancy? “How far along are you?” At 38 weeks today, I have refused to tell people in months. I tell them in weeks. This is fine for folks who have been pregnant before but not for the general public. I don’t care. I have no idea when to break it into months otherwise…

  2. I have two stories for you. Well, three.

    My blog pregnancy announcement:
    http://practicingempathy.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/self-depricating-pregnancy-announcements/

    When my husband told his grandfather that giving him a great-grandchild was our pleasure:
    http://astraevirgo.livejournal.com/313146.html

    And the fact that every time someone in church congratulates me, I turn to someone and say, “They just congratulated me on having SEX.” — TOTALLY identified with that one.

  3. For me, a ton of people close to us asked us HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I’m halfway tempted to give the truthful icky answers of how we had sex and created a baby

  4. congrats my dear! very exciting. friend of mine is due in july. she gets nauseous just from walking quickly and motion sick from driving. so strange. going to start doing some research on what causes all these random pregnancy things. are you feeling anything good or bad?

    • @caitlin, Well, the nausea is your body overreacting to the influx of hormones. I can’t remember which weeks, but I think from week 6 to week 10, your hormone levels increase by a factor of 1000+. It’s nuts! The total amount of hormones going through your system in one pregnancy exceed that of the previous 10 years!

      The lightheadedness comes from your body doubling blood volume in like two weeks. More blood = always thirsty + lower blood pressure = lightheadedness.

      Tiredness comes from that blood thing again — kid’s taking your iron and vitamins and nutrients in general (“our little parasite!” we called him sometimes) so while he’s likely to get everything he needs, you’re likely to feel really bad!

      Nausea also happens when your stomach is empty, and because your metabolism is speeding up while your digestion is slowing down (wtf?), nausea happens alot. So does low blood sugar, and (you guessed it!) low blood sugar can cause nausea!

      yay!

      I like knowing WHY I feel like crap. 🙂

      Your hormone levels level off after first tri, which is why women tend to feel better then. They increase and plateau again in third tri, I think.

      ***If anyone is interested in the specifics rather than the gist (you know me), I can go verify and confirm.

      • @Marisa,

        right, but how come more motion sick?? that seems so strange to me to have vestibular symptoms. i wonder if its just from already being nauseous in the first place!

      • @caitlin, That’s a good one. I don’t know. Conjecture: I know your blood vessels swell, too, so every time I’d blow my nose, there’d be blood. I wonder if that kind of swelling affects your sinus situation – it tends to for me. If your motion sickness is related to that, then I suppose it could exacerbate it.

  5. I’ve got a question to add to your list: “So are you excited?”

    When people find out I’m pregnant (either from me telling them or they hear from others or they realize that it’s a pregnant belly I’ve got going on and haven’t just been indulging in too many cookies without enough gym time), one of the first questions I’m asked is, “Is your husband excited?” When I respond in the affirmative, they next question they ask is, “Really?”.The first few times it seemed like a normal-ish question to ask, though I’m not sure why they’d doubt my answer. I’m now 24 weeks, and when I was asked this question for the millionth time today, I answered, “Yes. It was a planned pregnancy.” It was a little awkward, but oh well 😉

    Oh, and one of my office male colleagues seems to be leading the pack with asking awkward questions. So far he’s asked if I am planning on having a natural birth, if my husband will be in the room when I deliver, and then today he asked me how much weight I’ve gained so far (and seemed surprised when I wouldn’t answer, instead saying it’s one of life’s great mysteries). I can’t wait for his next question…I’m sure it’ll be a doozy…

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