Fun stuff Friday

So, this is the point-and-laugh kind of fun stuff.  Be warned (that one’s for you, Rude).

  1. My breasts have grown rather amazingly. Well, I’m amazed. I was well endowed to begin with (a 32DDD on a skinny month) and now?  Hahahahaha.
  2. Said breasts are freaking me out.  They don’t hurt anymore, but they are freakishly large and alien-like.  You know, like a mom’s breasts, I get that, but it still freaks me out.
  3. My n*pples are huge.  And growing.  Again, clearly I understand this is a mom thing, but it’s freaky.
  4. Can I say freaky any more?
  5. My left boob is growing faster/ bigger/ lower than my right. When I get out of the shower, “Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?” jumps into my head and won’t get out.
  6. Because of this unevenness, I must carefully arrange my n*pples inside my sports-bra-like bra lest my headlights be uneven when turned to the on position, if ya know what I mean.
  7. For weeks I’d notice this unevenness and think, “Huh, must’ve put the suckers in crookedly.”
  8. Duh.
  9. Freaky.
  10. Body changes freak me out.

Also, I started researching breastfeeding.  Now, before we get our panties in a wad, yes, I believe breastfeeding is ideal if one can manage to make the whole shebang work, and if not, then it’s clearly not ideal and therefore another option is probably better.  What follows is to be taken as evidence of the nuttiness of my mind, not as a judgment or opinion on the act that is breastfeeding. Mkay?

So, whoa.  Bf’ing (an abbreviation that cracks me up – “best friend-ing?”) is, um, primal. And kind of scary. That little bitty baby creature and that huge *ss boob coming right at the places where (s)he breathes and, well, survives… whoa.  And people, you have to get a whole lotta booby in that little baby’s tiny widdle mouth for things to not hurt as much.

Not. Hurt. As. Much.

Seems like a little pregnancy discomfort is likely to be but a wistful memory once the actual pain of being a mom is for real.

Discomfort = vomiting, indigestion, gas, vomiting, gagging, vomiting, heaving, vomiting, dry heaving, endless indigestion, heartburn.

Pain = body stretching, back aching, boobies being sucked on, aching carrying muscles, lack o’ sleep, baby coming out of one’s hooha.

Let it begin. Um, I guess. (Yup, there’s Ambivalent Me. Wondered when she’d join us.)

Bright side: Hey, when we get through this, we get a KID!  Like, of our very own! And we’ll take that kid on all sorts of awesome and slightly dangerous outings like to our backyard (steep incline, plenty of things to trip on, bugs, poison ivy, things that scratch and poke), Disneyland (ahem, must you even ask?), and to visit the crazy grandparents in hot, hot, burning hot New Mexico!

I wonder if it will be freaky to look at a little mini-human and recognize some of my own features on them? Like stumbling upon a mirror in an unexpected place or catching a glimpse of myself laughing in a reflection but thinking, “Oh, my sister!” before I realize it.

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6 thoughts on “Fun stuff Friday

  1. “I wonder if it will be freaky to look at a little mini-human and recognize some of my own features on them?”

    Yes. Yes it is.

    • @Colleen, OH, awesome! I’d always wondered that. Are you like, “Hey, wait, that’s my smile!”?

      I’m forcing myself not to wake my husband up to tell him this, as he thought the idea that anyone would even notice that was weird.

      Ha.

  2. That’s so funny that he’d think no one else would notice. I’m a stay at home mom, so maybe have too much time on my hands, but noting her features is kind of my hobby. My husband says he can’t really pick out features that way (but then proceeded to tell me which features she has that are mine).

    So in my case, it’s her eyes that are turning more like mine every day. I swear to you I feel like I’m going to travel through a wormhole when I look into hers; completely freaky.

    Then I have a friend whose daughter has always looked like a baby-version of her (i.e. my friend’s) mom. I don’t think I could handle that!

  3. I’m 8 weeks and The Boobs are out of control. I’ve always been on the smaller side, like 32B, and they are getting so big!! And fast!! My husband hadn’t seen them in 3 days and he was totally shocked. I will not ever forget the look on his face when he saw them yesterday, it was a mix of shock, disbelief, horror, compassion (they’re so much heavier!) and excitement (woah I have a big chested wife now!!) They still hurt alot, and I’m assuming they’re not done growing yet. I cant imagine how this would be if I had started out bigger. I used to dislike how small I was, but now I think it was a blessing. They do look like “mom boobs” now though, freaky!

  4. When I saw my baby on my ultrasound at 19 weeks, I thought I could tell already that she’s got my husband’s ears…my husband looked at me a little funny when I mentioned it. (Yes, it was a fuzzy ultrasound pic.) It didn’t weird me out then to try picking out similar features, but I wonder if it’ll be different when she’s out. Guess I’ll find out in 13 weeks (plus or minus).

    Re the out of control boobs: I can sympathize. I went from being rather endowed (32E) to OMG-I-feel-huge (34F) quite quickly. And guess what: they’re STILL growing! At first it was a little bit of a novelty, now it’s just a pain-in-the-back. Literally.

  5. I am bfing (literally, right now at this very moment) and my advice on that is think about it and plan for it, but don’t *worry* about it until you have to. I heard so many horror stories and spent a lot of time during pregnancy thinking it might not work out. I got a bunch of lanolin and other stuff for cracks, low supply, engorgement problems, etc. and the truth is I didn’t need it. Things have been great! For me, it’s easy and cheap. And pretty awesome. I mean, my body is providing my baby everything he needs (and burning up fat stores at the same time!)

    I know some people have problems, physical and otherwise, but the truth is our bodies are made to bf and the vast majority of women can do it. Consider that you can make it work, and in the off chance you can’t, you’ll do something else!

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