Popular pregnancy stuff I won't be doing…

Weekly belly bump pics. I thought I would – and my husband was really excited about the idea – but I didn’t. Just… didn’t. I’m not so excited about my changing body, and frankly, I don’t really want a bunch of people looking at it. And have I mentioned I work from home and look like I work from home? I’d have to actually comb my hair and put on makeup and learn how to not look silly in photos.  Thanks, but no thanks. So, no. Perhaps I’ll regret it later, but I’m fine with it now.

A themed, coordinated, matching and modern nursery. The kid will poop in his clothes, for heaven’s sakes. He’ll be fine as long as his room is semi-clean and semi-quiet. So, while we’ll pick things that we think are fun, color coordination is very unlikely. Also, we seem to have a soft spot for Winnie the Pooh stuff. Not so modern.

Also, I lack the knack for decorating, and thus, my “get the nursery ready” ideas are pretty much limited to wall color, curtains, and bedding.  I look at photos of Emily’s beautiful nursery and think, “Oh, look at the things on the shelves! And walls! Am I supposed to be thinking about that?”

But I’m choosing ease – which means accepting we’ll have a new wall color, bedding, and ooh, maybe even a new light, and that’s about it. We are how we are.

Maternity pictures. Maybe. Our wedding photographer has closed her business but agreed to shoot a session with us just for grins. (Also, we sent a ton of referrals her way.)  She won’t do a newborn session, though, because newborns are hard to pose and they poop and pee everywhere if you do nekkid pictures. I totally get it – it’s a niche, and to do it well, you have to love it. So I’m debating doing a family session after the kiddo is born rather than maternity photos before and newborn or family photos after. We won’t get the nekkid baby pictures, but we’ll have nice portraits of our new three-person family.

I’m not sure I want or need to have pregnancy pictures. I know, I know, I’m weird, but I just… don’t.  That said, I didn’t get the point of engagement photos but ended up loving ours.  Still thinking.

Having a real baby shower. (I think.) My mom organized a remote version of a baby shower wherein my family all sent stuff and we had a little partay opening and exclaiming and assembling, then sent pictures. My mother in law wants to throw a baby shower (sweet), but she wants to do it at our house (um), with our friends (double-um), and us organizing (um…?). Here’s the thing (er, multiple things): we don’t have a lot of local friends, it’s awkward to throw your own party (remember, we threw our own wedding) and it feels like we’re just asking people for gifts unless we do silly shower games. Right? Or no? I don’t know. I’m conflicted.

Also, it feels like another event where people just want to see your goofy belly. Clearly I have issues. However, look at this:

A book party! Though I don’t like the idea of arm-twisting our friends into giving us gifts, I love the idea of a book-themed baby shower.  I mean, c’mon, a book is a relatively inexpensive – but oh, so, sentimental – gift, right? And while I usually abhor the idea of dictating the kinds of gifts people give you (they’re gifts!), this seems okay to me.

As for “activities,” I think we can get by with a couple of stations – a onesie decorating station and a book-plate-dedicating station.  What do you think? I probably won’t get around to it, but I’m happy just thinking about the idea.

A babymoon. Maybe. I started this post a couple of days ago thinking our ability to go anywhere this summer was out. A done deal. C’est la vie. Then last night we booked a beach house in NC for a week in May, so maybe we will? My husband is now trying to figure out how to make sure we have a constant tour of visitors joining us while I’d like a few days of nothingness, but we’ll work that out.

It doesn’t count as a babymoon if you’re taking two dogs with you, right? Right?


Holy cow, you guys came through when I asked for positive breast feeding stories! Thanks so much! I haven’t had a chance to respond to each of your comments, but I love them – and you.


16 thoughts on “Popular pregnancy stuff I won't be doing…

  1. Aww, thanks for the shout out! Let me just assure you though, that not seen in that photo are the piles of crap shoved in the closet and the unorganized mess in the seemingly tidy baskets and pails. And clearly the nursery is much more for me than for him- but I have to spend a lot of time in here exhausted in the middle of the night so I think that’s fair 🙂
    My advice is to feel free to skip it all without feeling like you need an excuse!
    But I’d recommend taking a few pics of yourself, just for you to have… 4 weeks out I am mesmerized looking at my big bump pictures- I already can’t remember what it was like.

  2. Hello! First time commenter here. I love your idea of a book shower, and (very serendipitously, I think) this awesome post from How About Orange popped up in my Reader this morning with beautiful (free!) downloadable templates for a “library shower.” It seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore, so I had to share the link! 🙂


  3. I really like this post! You are doing things your own way, and I find that admirable. I’m not even pregnant, but I look at the blogs filled with tons of baby preparation activities and it makes me a bit nervous!

    Best of luck with the remainder of your pregnancy! 🙂

    • @Carly, Thanks! I think that’s the only way to get through and not lose my shit (and I’m still trying valiantly not to lose my shit): do what you enjoy and outsource the rest (or hey, skip it)!

  4. I didn’t take any pregnancy photos because I hated being pregnant (=fat, puffy, tired and sick), and don’t regret it at all. I’m happy to forget all about that part of having a baby.

    Also, I spent a lot of time thinking about the nursery, but it turns out my daughter doesn’t spend any time in there except to get her diaper changed, since she sleeps in our room (I worried about her being so far away) and spends her awake time wherever we are in the apartment.

    The book party sounds like a really cute idea!

  5. Here’s my mother’s view on non-water related showers of any kind.

    Anyone who doesn’t want to give a gift doesn’t have to.

    Anyone that doesn’t want to come wont.

    People like to give gifts. It’s fun.

    We(you) have been to showers/weddings/house warmings/birthdays even, where you have given people gifts. Think of those gifts, while given with love and affection and not for personal gain, as an investment program.

    Most of life’s major events are expensive, and it’s easier when the cost is spread out over time and multiple people (so maybe it’s more like insurance coverage), every gift you give is usually reciprocated in some way at some point in time (karma), it’s just your turn to be the giftee instead of the gifter.

  6. K, since mums get to chime in with their mum perspectives I’m going to just own my own point of view too and (maybe) offer you something of interest or assistance (let’s not get our hopes up though, k?). Are you planning on having more than one kid? As the youngest of three, the family portraiture before my time was always weird to look at, and my parents never displayed it once it was outdated. This doesn’t apply for all forms of family-taken photos, just the professional photographer pics.

    The trend of professionally photo-documenting each aspect of a milestone life experience is fairly new, relative to how long people have been getting hitched, having kids and making memories out of it all. Take photos of your life, because they will be a source of emotion later you can’t comprehend now, but don’t over-think it either (like saying that can somehow make you not do it. I amuse myself). I think the fact that you’re being true to what’s important in terms of WHAT you document, and to what extent, is the best way to go.

    • @Christine, You can always chime in! For the record, I tended to skip pictorial evidence of things pre-pregnancy, too. I just don’t like being in front of the camera, unless the photog is a pro and thus makes me look like a fabulous version of myself.

  7. I spend a lot of time making “to do” lists and checklists for myself and clients. The thought of compiling a “wont’ do” list never occurred to me!

    The concept seems rather liberating and refreshing! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting limits and taking control of your time! Life’s really too short not to, isn’t it?

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