Thanks for your opinion (not)

I’d always heard about strangers giving pregnant woman unsolicited advice, and I’ve mostly gotten off scot-free there. Well, except for the time I bought a case of beer and the sweet old lady at Walmart felt the need to make sure I knew that was bad for my baby.

In her defense, it’s possible I didn’t, so she was being helpful. Ahem.

What I’d not prepared for was the unsolicited drive-by advice comments from people I do know. Really, they have no point or benefit, if you stop and think about it.

“You’re driving to beach? Pregnant? You know you’ll be stopping every five minutes!” Thanks, I had no idea my need to pee would INCREASE because I’d be in a car.

“You’re taking the dogs? Pregnant? Are you… well, that’s just interesting.” Right, because our dogs will suddenly be more/ less well-behaved because they recognize I’m percolating a human in here. Uh, huh.

“You’re working after the baby comes? Well.. okay.” Yes, because producing a human will suddenly mean I no longer enjoy my job (possible) or begin to get checks from anonymous sources.

“You’re traveling/ not traveling that soon/ long afterward?” I just said that, didn’t I? No, am not willing to fly across the country twice in two months with a three- and four-month old. No, am not able to take two more weeks of vacation in the same year as maternity leave, for which I would like to be paid.  And yes, of course I would love to make multiple trips with an infant during a school semester for my husband – never mind the cost – just for your convenience so you can show off the kid I pushed out of my girl parts!

Had to get that off my chest.  Also, yes, we’re driving multiple hours — and picking up my brother along the way — with the dogs.


11 thoughts on “Thanks for your opinion (not)

  1. Biggest. Pet. Peeve. I hate unsolicited advice with a passion. Though I think the worst for me during this whole pregnancy has been the “just wait”‘s When I tell people I’m feeling good I get, “just wait! It’ll get REALLY bad at the end.” Or if I say my back hurts I’ll get, “just wait! It’s only gonna get worse!” Just this weekend I was asked if my shoes still fit to which I said yes and I got, “just wait! MY feet grew an inch with each kid.” Good for you, big foot, doesn’t mean mine will.

  2. When I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with Claire I went to a liquor store to pick up a couple of kegs for a party that my husband was having. You should have seen the looks I got there! 🙂

  3. I totally feel you on this one. My mother-in-law has been the worst…”You know, what you eat affects your baby”…”You know, you should be eating more vegetables”…uh, no sh*t Sherlock. Don’t you think I’d be eating better if the mere sight of vegetables didn’t make me want to puke?! Just let me be.

  4. I’ve had my fair share of idiots too. And to reassure you on your beach trip, I have a 50 pound hyperactive boxer, and a 45 pound hyperactive red heeler, who are totally nutso dogs. I now live on the gulf coast of Texas, but still telecommute for my job located near Dallas. I’ve had to drive to Dallas (a 6 hour trek) 4 times since being pregnant. And for the record, the most I’ve had to stop and pee is twice. With two crazy dogs in the backseat. So I think you’ll survive!

    What really irritates me these days is that I’m six months along and very visibly pregnant, and I still not only get doors not held for me by strangers, sometimes they even slam them in my face! Geez, people, can you get any ruder? I know chivalry is dead, but still, you could at least hold a door for a pregnant lady every once in a while…

  5. Hah! And this is why Mr. N is convinced that when I am in this ‘condition,’ we should not tell anyone about it for as long as possible (until it becomes too obvious not to tell). I don’t know if I could handle that–especially not telling my mom–but he makes a great point and I don’t really want to be in the news as a pregnant lady who punched a stranger in the face at a supermarket…

  6. I don’t think I notice other people’s advice. Or, maybe I just counter their advice verbally, I don’t know. I do know it’s never really bothered me. I’ve also never been pregnant, though, so maybe I just don’t get as much.

    I wonder what would happen if you just answered all their advice with what you’re thinking for a week!

  7. Just found out I was pregnant a couple weeks ago, but this is one of the things that I am dreading the most. 1st on the list is people touching me/my belly. Just because I’m gestating doesn’t give anyone free reign over my mind or body. When voicing my concern over being touched my mother said… huh, I guess I should have made you a button that said “Don’t F’ing Touch Me.”

  8. Oh man, when (if?) I have kids, I’m NOT going to handle the unsolicited advice very well. I’m already grumpy about stuff like that, so I can only imagine how I’ll react with all those extra hormones running around in my body.

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