Things a pregnant woman shouldn't admit

  1. I’m still creeped out by birth videos.
  2. I don’t think newborns are cute; I think they look like little (conehead) aliens.
  3. I suspect I may call my son “the kiddo” forever.
  4. Birthing sounds still sound like sex sounds to me and remind me of that Friends episode where Phoebe won’t massage Monica anymore because she makes sex sounds.
  5. I have moments of nervous panic about having a kid of our own that make my gut clench and heart race.
  6. I’m worried about being away from work for so long.
  7. The ratio of boob to baby-head in breastfeeding videos freaks me out.

5 thoughts on “Things a pregnant woman shouldn't admit

  1. I very seriously can not wait for you to finally have this baby. PS-I really think you’re a good candidate for reading Anne Lamotte’s Operating Instructions – a Journal of My Sons First Year. Get thee to a book store, or Amazon, quickly!

  2. The last one cracks me up…I have commented on the fact that my boob is bigger than my baby’s head a few times now. It’s really strange considering the tiny size they used to be, something I’ll never get used to seeing now.

  3. This post is so refreshing and fits me well. I’d add the fear of having to “bear” down in front of others. That particular move is only done in the privacy of my bathroom so I’m terrified that I’ll have a mental block when it’s time to push. I’m hoping the pressure and relief will be so great I’ll forget what I’m actually doing.

  4. I have personally refused to actually watch birthing/breastfeeding videos. One) I don’t want to see someone else’s boobs and I don’t find them helpful, I know where the baby goes. Two) If I was meant to see a birth from that angle I wouldn’t have a spine or I would have been born with mirrors on the tops of my feet.

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