I need a hobby

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband mountain bikes, a fabulous (and expensive) hobby that gets him out of the house and away from baby duty for four hours each week, not to mention the hours spent researching new gear and visiting local bike shops. After a few weeks of fully supporting his outings by handling bedtime duty alone, I found myself resenting him quite a bit tonight. 

I need my own hobby. He’s fully supportive of my finding a hobby and keeps suggesting things, but I push the idea away for some reason. Not sure why.

Here’s what I want:

A comparable and no-guilt passion, one that gets me out of the house at a semi-convenient time (can’t conflict with my husband’s school schedule now, or my work schedule later) on a regular basis.

It should be scheduled in some way, like a class, so that I don’t procrastinate it away.

Since I’m a practical person, it should be useful or beneficial or somehow fit into the things I’m already drawn to.

Bonus points for being physical, but of course, I’m not drawn to physical things.

To be okay with spending money on something just for me. To be okay with leaving for a few hours just for me. Maybe even to do something that’s not practical or useful, but just for me.

I must must must be able to do it alone. Or with people, but not with my husband or kiddo or else it won’t be my hobby. It can involve them sometimes, but should not be dependent on their involvement.

Ways this could work:

I could make a commitment to any of the things I’ve already dipped my toes into: photography, yoga, bike riding.

I could ask you guys what your hobbies are and steal an idea or two.

Maybe I can just pick a class at the university that sounds interesting even if it doesn’t seem like my thing.

My commitment:

To do some thinking. What could I enjoy that doesn’t involve Joey or my kid or buying things (ie: shopping only)?

To explore possibilities, like whether there’s room in that photography class that starts on Thursday or if there’s a yoga class I could realistically attend regularly.

To not get bogged down by money spending or gear buying or having to sign up.

To be as supportive of myself as I am of Joey and his fun stuff.

To not feel bad about leaving my kiddo with his dad, even at bedtime, even once a week. They’ll figure it out just like we’ve figured it out when Joey is riding.


What are your hobbies? Any ideas for me?


14 thoughts on “I need a hobby

  1. you should do photography! i don’t know how much you’ve studied it, but i have totally thrown myself into it after my daughter, emerson, was born in january. i’ve been doing online workshops through clickin’ moms. they’ve been amazing, given me something to do that’s my “own”, and i’ve discovered this new side to myself i never knew was there! highly recommended 🙂

  2. Have you thought about a class at a community college? Like painting or ceramics or woodworking? I love carpentry, so I try to get a few hours to myself in the garage each week. I cannot wait for my 6 week checkup so I can get cleared to exercise again, since that was a big hobby for me too. Or you could always volunteer somewhere!

  3. Ugh, I need one too! We were visiting with a friend this weekend and after hearing about my husband’s cars obsession (he goes to races, raced his own car this weekend, etc.) she turned to me and asked what my hobbies were. I said “um…” and literally couldn’t think of one. What I really really want/love to do I can’t do right now (raise guide dogs) so in a protest of sorts I do nothing. It’s lame, and I need to fix it, but I’m not sure how. :/

  4. I knit, do yoga, play the viola, and can food at home. Then again I’m currently mostly unemployed and childless….

    Yoga would be really good for your mind and body, but I think photography would be a GREAT mommy skill to have; to preserve how awesome your little one looks at every stage. That doesn’t mean you should definitely do it, but since you’ve already expressed an interest in it it seems more practical than studying underwater basket weaving at the local community college just to be busy.

    Other hobby ideas: pottery, stained glass, cooking, baking, candlestick making (just kidding on that one!), and sewing. Ooooh, a sewing class could be fun, like pattern making or how to fit patterns to yourself. Making clothes is very awesome and rewarding if you have the time to put into it, and then you get (hopefully) exactly what you were looking for!

  5. My hobbies: reading, going to museums, traveling. I went to the coffeehouse without baby this morning and just sat there for two hours with my frappuccino, biscotti and book. It was amazing! If you like reading (even guilty pleasures like celebrity magazines), I think this is the perfect hobby for a mother: quiet, time-flexible, me-focused and out of the house.

    Other hobbies of people I know: listening to opera; making mosaics; gardening; ice skating; meditation; playing country music; eating (totally can be a hobby if you get all foodie about it); computer programming; studying Latin; rowing crew. Good luck!

  6. You should take a photography class or something! My biggest “alone time” hobby is working out. I don’t even leave the house for it – I have an elliptical upstairs that I use every day – but it relaxes me so much, and I look forward to my time to work out every day!

  7. My hobby is reading, which involves a lot of time to myself but really doesn’t meet, well, any of your specifications! Others include cooking, running (ahem, jogging) (double-ahem, walk-jogging), photography, and yoga. I think taking a yoga class or a community college class would better meet your requirements than any of my other suggestions, but it looks like PPs have given some good ideas =)

  8. I started thinking that I needed a structured hobby too, a few months after Claire was born and I was starting to lose my mind as a SAHM. And just as I started to seriously look (at community college courses, etc), I got knocked up again and I lost all the motivation. 😦

    Please keep us updated on what you decide to go with — maybe I can gain some inspiration for after BebeDeux is born!

  9. I think photography is great, but unless I was taking a structured class or meeting with a group, I’d let it slide when other things came up – and other things always come up.

    I like the idea of taking a class through a continuing ed or community college program. They generally don’t have homework. Or what about a cooking class?

    Another thing you could look into is a regular fitness class, like spinning, adult (I think they’re called Masters, at least in Canada) swim clubs yoga or zumba or somesuch.

    Or you could volunteer with a cause that resonates with you. While not totally relaxing and entirely “me time”, it’s super rewarding and gives you something to focus on other than work and family.

    Most of my hobbies aren’t out-of-home hobbies; I knit, cook and play around in the kitchen, have taken up canning, read, and write. But I also love going to the gym.

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