I love being my kid’s mom and other surprises

Perhaps because of the PPD – but also because I’m me – I spent the first two months of my son’s life feeling like yet again I wasn’t enjoying something everyone else seemed to love. I figured pregnancy was like wedding planning, which I didn’t enjoy one bit, but that I’d enjoy my son once he arrived, much like my wedding.

Not true.

Then, through the miracle of modern medicine, my world changed. I’m surprised and grateful every single day when I realize – yet again – that I really enjoy being this kid’s mom.

Granted, it’s a lot easier being the mom of a three-month old than of a six-week old, ohmygodsomucheasier, but even when I’m up at 3:00 am for the third night in a row and I just know I’ll have to get up at least once more because change = party time to my kid, I love being his mom.

You can put your finger on what you really love by following the “even though’s.” I love being his mom even though I’m up at the crack of dawn again. I love working even though I often want to bang my head against a wall (or throw my laptop into one).  Being married is rewarding and a great growth opportunity even though it often sucks to be bound by the rules (like finding compromise and crappy things like that).

Other surprises:

My dad came to visit and meet my kid and although our house is a messy construction zone, I wish he could stay much, much longer.

Our kitchen is torn apart and I’m not stressed out about it despite my whole fam damily descending upon us in less than two weeks for Thanksgiving. And I’m excited about them being here.

The other night I was missing my baby when suddenly he cried out – at a time when he rarely RARELY wakes up – and I was happy to run in there and snuggle him. (Dear universe, THIS DOES NOT MEAN you should have him wake up every single night, okay?)

We kept our three-month old home for an entire week and juggled him and work and school and getting ready for a visitor and tearing apart our kitchen and nobody moved out. Score.

Also, after multiple attempts at configuring my new eye-fi wireless SD card, I got the darned thing working. Yay! This is my dad….


2 thoughts on “I love being my kid’s mom and other surprises

  1. I remember following your story way back when on Weddingbee and I somehow stumbled onto your blog today – congrats on your lil one, he’s super cute and as usual your honesty continues to be so incredibly refreshing and I can soooo relate!

  2. I often don’t get the chance to catch up on your blog posts (hence the 2-week-late-reply, thank goodness for Google Reader!!) and just happened to read this one today and started crying at your first paragraph. I followed you from WeddingBee and have ALWAYS admired your candid honesty. I too hated planning my wedding but enjoyed the day. And now we just bought a puppy and I’m struggling and I’m SO afraid I’m going to hate and/or suck at motherhood.

    Please keep doing what you’re doing, and telling us about it, so I know I’m not the only one out there who worries and worries and then realizes, HEY. It will work out.

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