The mother ship is calling

After too many years in my own little satellite, the mother ship feels like it’s calling. When I started getting serious with my husband (you know, two months in), one of the first red flags I ‘fessed up to was the likelihood of my having to move to remain employed. “Knoxville is just a little stop for my company,” I said, “and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to eke out a career here.”

Sure enough, it feels like our easy, inexpensive life is going to have to change.

Not too many years ago, I would have been excited. New city, new home, new start, new life. Each move was an adventure. Even before I started moving between cities, I’d gotten the urge to move houses at least every 18 months.

But I’ve been here – in this city, in this house – long enough that change feels more scary than adventurous. Owning a home has upped the ante, too. Whereas before I’d just go the low-commitment route of renting, my hubby is a devoted homeowner. The idea of selling and buying and qualifying and paying and closing and… yuck.

I’d been composing a post in my head about the peace I’ve felt since having my son. Unlike the adult life I’d known, with him in it, there’s no chance of stasis. Every day, he moves inevitably, inexorably, forward. I love it.

The contrast to how I feel about causing a change is interesting. I used to force a change to get the movement I needed but causing an abrupt overflow of chaos. Now, much as I’d like to ride the waves a bit longer, I’m going to have to suck it up and go for a swim.

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7 thoughts on “The mother ship is calling

  1. Oddly, we’re in a similar situation. I am living outside DC where no other companies in my industry are (they are mostly NYC, San Fran, LA, and Seattle) so we always knew that if I wanted to leave my job, it would likely require us to move. After 8 years, it seems like it might be time to move on, but thinking about selling our house and having to start over without family nearby and finding a new daycare, etc for our daughter just feels SO overwhelming and I’m scared! It all feels much bigger than it used to!

    • @Maggie, Yes, there are multiple mother ships and I can get hired at non-Seattle ones if I start looking. No, the mother ship hasn’t called, but I don’t want to be the last one on it if it sinks, ya know?

  2. I see. Is there any interest in hoping on the ship now or waiting for more danger? Are any of the ships near family? It’s hard because you have a life and family where you are currently with a support structure for Javi in place. On the other hand, you are the main breadwinner so maintaining your income in this economy is paramount.

    I suck in that I don’t have much I can add but I’m sure you and your family will make the right decision.

    • @Maggie, I know, I’m not sure. I can ride it out until the end, I’m sure, or I can start looking now. Both options make me sad (isn’t that sad?).

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