Back on the budget wagon

I spent part of this evening putting us back on a budget. After a quarter of proving a point to my hubby by making him our Chief Financial Officer, it was time. We spent almost five months happily blowing money on stuff, and while it was fun, I still felt vaguely guilty and hung over.

Yet, I put off actually doing it for two months. Two months! Why? Because I simultaneously fight what I know I need and need what I’m fighting. My soul won’t settle when I’m not in some kind of control of our money, but I push away the idea that I need it anyway.

People are weird. I am weird. Who knew that getting older just meant accepting your juxtapositions with more gentleness?

After an hour of procrastination (Mint? Mvelopes? Spreadsheet?), I spent 15 minutes on it and was finished. Huh. All that dread for just a few minutes of frankly satisfying work.

It got me thinking about how many of my married female friends are also in this position – the family CFO because we’re better at it. I know a handful of us who have proven a point to our mates by letting them take the reigns, then cleaned up after they cried uncle and admitted we were better at it. Interestingly, I also know quite a few women who are the primary breadwinners while their husbands find their dreams. Funny how times are changing, aren’t they?

And yet, bacon-bringing aside, we’re still the mamas who hold their babies just because, even after the babies are asleep in their happy little beds, just for our mama hearts. It’s hard to reconcile sometimes, but fantastic how a girl can at least try to juggle a little bit of it all, no?


4 thoughts on “Back on the budget wagon

  1. It made me giggle a little when you said you know some women who bring home the bacon while hubs find their dreams. I feel like I am the only one in this situation 99% of the time, because out of my friends, I AM the only one. Thanks for making this journey a bit less lonely 🙂

  2. I also feel that way sometimes, as we consider making the necessary changes so that my husband can find his dreams. I need to make friends with your friends! (Also, hi Jess G!). I sometimes feel very lost what feels like a strange role.

    And! I am also the family CFO, and share that need to be at least in some kind of control of the finances to feel secure. Times are a-changin’ indeed.

    • @cartascartas, Join the club! It is a strange role, because so much of who we are is defined by our gender, but so much of what we do isn’t anymore. So, I’m the bacon-bringer but when my kid is sick, I’m the mama so I want to be home with him. I don’t think men have that deep need to hold their babies when the kiddo is sick (not as much, anyway) so the new roles can be tough then.

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