The things this soul needs

I’ve written before about the oddness of pushing away the things I know I need. I know I’ll sleep better if I bathe before bedtime, but I put it off until I’m too tired to drag myself into the warmth. I know the constant hum of anxiety will lessen if my house is clean, yet I often live with the dread of avoiding the messy places instead of spending such a short time cleaning up.

Taking the time to forecast my year, choose goals by month, and outlining tasks by week (and day) helps me feel in control and productive, but week after week, I put it off. Seriously. I think about it and actively avoid doing the work, the whole 15 minutes of work.

And when I turn off my phone and rock my son to sleep with only my thoughts to lend rhythm, my breathing deepens and my thoughts settle. They continue unceasingly, as they have since they began, but they flow more slowly and in pictures instead of words.

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Daaaa. Dude loves school supplies as much as I do.

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Look who can kneel!

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Yes, that’s the cat food. Caption: busted! Also: nutritionally balanced! (Well, for a cat.)

Why don’t I do this more often?

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